Sunday, June 12, 2016

Rainy Summer Days

So earlier this month it had been raining on and off for about four days straight. Since I have been getting into photography I thought it would be a cool idea to go in my backyard and take some pictures. All the flowers have bloomed and I am using a very basic camera (not a DSLR) and I personally think the pictures came out great!

Check out my YouTube video!

Live ~Laugh~Love 

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Fear of Failure

I am a freshly graduated high school student. I am 18 years old and I am scared.

In a matter of months, I will be moving 200 miles away for college. I will be in a new environment with new people in a new town. Now, I am not scared because I'm moving and I'm not scared of meeting new people, I'm scared of failing.

It is the fear of failing that I'm scared of. I've always dreamed of becoming successful and having money to be able to provide for my family. Now that I'm at this stage in life, I find myself overthinking every little detail about my future and every outcome of every scenario is horrible.

I find myself second guessing my career path and if I'm truly going to suceed.

I am planning on studying journalism. Writing is something I've always enjoyed doing.

In elementary school I started a newsletter (5th grade). And I carried on this desire into middle school  (7th grade) where there would be biweekly distribution of a newsletter to all of my classmates. I gathered people who were interested, pretty soon I had a news staff and an advisor (our libraian Mrs.Fisher) that would help us print and distribute. My highschool already had an established publication but unfortuanelty it was a class, so I never could fit it into my schedule until this year.

Journalism, like many careers, is very competitive. Your success is heavily dependant on who you know. Networking is a very big factor when it comes to journalism. I am constantly hearing this and hearing stories of people who haven't been successful in pursuing this career. I'm not scared to push myself or put myself out there as a journalist. I'm just scared of who I am as a writer. I'm scared that I won't be what the 'real world' is looking for. That all of the things that I think I'm good at will come crumbling down around me and I'll find out I'm not as good as I thought.

Fearing failure is not something new. This is something everyone deals with. But I tend to get very anxious about these things. I start thinking about what my future will look like and despite all my efforts, what will the outcome be? I think and think and think and heart quickens, the air seems to be leaving my lungs and my brain feels like it might explode.

I like to write because it's something I enjoy, it's something that helps me express who I am. That's the whole reason I started this blog. This is my creative outlet to spew all of the thoughts that have been racing around my head.

At the end of the day I'm human and gramatical and speling errors will happen but I just hope people capture the essence of what I'm trying to say.

I'm scared of becoming and adult. I'm scared of the respnosibility of having to take caare of myself. I'm scared of life.

These are the fears that I have. What are yours?

Live ~Laugh~Love 

Monday, June 6, 2016

Graduating High School

At this point, it has been five days since I graduated high school, and to be honest it doesn't seem real. It doesn't seem real that a place where I have learned about myself and grown so much as a person, is a place I will never attend. 

Over these last 12 years, I have been surrounded by the same people. Over the last 18 years, I have lived in the same house, same neighborhood. It amazes me that this large chapter of my life has now been closed. 

It may seem cliche, but these past few years I've been wanting school to end so I can go to college but I never realized what leaving high school meant. Leaving high school means that I have to leave my friends behind. I have to leave my sister behind. I have to leave my parents. 

Although college is new and exciting, it's an uncharted, new thing I've never truly experienced before. Sure I've been to cap during the summer, but that's only ever been a few weeks away from my family. I've also never really moved or been anywhere besides where I live right now.

A common theme of what I saw as people signed my yearbook was "to have fun and experience new things". In high school, I was very involved in clubs and school events but I was never involved socially. In college, I'm going to say yes more to going out to lunch or hanging out with friends. Although school is important it's also equally important to have fun.

One thing that I did not do in high school that I will definitely do in college is to be myself! The first few years of college i tried to blend in and become what the people wanted (which sucked by the way). It took me until senior year of high school to be myself and not care about people, and you know what? People accepted me for who I was! I have made so many friends in this last year than in the other three years of high school. And these people truly like me for me.

And to all my fellow classmates, I will miss you greatly. We will keep in touch. But this is our time to move on and discover ourselves, become who we truly are. these last 12 years have been practice for the real world. I know you'll be fine. You are the most ambitious, dedicated and hard-working people I have ever met. Your drive or your passions will get you far! Love you guys.

Live ~Laugh~Love