Thursday Thoughts: Fear of Failure
January is almost over, it seems like only yesterday was the start of the year. It's interesting how fast and simultaneously slow time seems to pass.
This Thursday I want to be very candid with my thoughts and talk about something that has been on my mind lately... I am no longer attending college. As of right now I am taking a semester off of school because this last semester was pretty rough.
I suffer from anxiety and depression something that I didn't realize I had until I went to college and I was in an environment where I had to deal with it myself. Understanding these mental illnesses and how they affected me while I was in school was very difficult just because I was trying to be a student but I had these things that didn't allow me to function properly.
In any case, I thought it best to take a break from school. That being said, my initial feeling after making my decision was failure. I was overwhelmed with thoughts of how people would perceive me since I had to take a break from school and then asking me why.
I wasn't comfortable talking about my mental health, and to some degree, I still am not comfortable. But I do recognize that conversations like this are important and I should be more open to talking about it.
But the fact that I started thinking about what other people would think is the real problem here. Society puts a stigma on mental health and puts up certain parameters of what people should do and when. Not everyone goes to college and not everyone finishes in four years. Not everyone needs a 9-5 job or a big house and 20 cars.
I think society puts a lot of pressure on people to turn out a certain way when in reality not everyone will end up in the same place. And there is some beauty to that and speaks to how we are all different and unique but I think we should stop perpetuating these societal pressures by supporting the people in our lives that choose to make different decisions in their life outside of the "norm".
I hope this rant made any sense and if you have any comments about anything that I've said be sure to leave me your thoughts.
