Saturday, July 2, 2016

STORYTIME: I TRIED GHOST PEPPER HOT SAUCE

This is the true story of how I was TRAUMATIZED from eating this hot sauce. I will try my best to describe what this hot sauce tastes like and the effects that came along with it!


Just some background on this pepper, it is technically known as the Bhut Jolokia. This pepper is an interspecific hybrid chili pepper. It's grown in India in the regions of Arunachal Pradesh, Assam, Nagaland and Manipur.

Now onto the story how I encountered this pepper in hot sauce form....

*Warning there will be many things in CAPS because I don't know any other way to express the severity of this situation*

So a few weeks ago my family and I travel to a local tourist hotspot about 15 minutes away from our town. We go here because although it is a tourist hotspot, the whole place sells products that are locally made.

This place is a commercial village. And what I mean by this is it is set up like a village town with different shops in one area (think of a shopping mall) but instead of dull, identical buildings with a sign outside. Each shop is like a small house with its own unique flair or theme to match the items being sold.

So one of the shops sells various meats and cheese's, similar to the deli section at your local supermarket but imagine that it is a whole dedicated to meat and cheese. Keep in mind that I did say it was village-like so the store wasn't HUGE. It was just larger than the small deli counter at a grocery store.

Anyway this commercial village is known for having tastings for all of their food products. Three shops in the village allow tastings; the olive basin, jam & relish shop, and the meat&cheese. 

So the meat&cheese shop had cubes of cheese and meat to taste with a cup of toothpicks next to the containers. They also sold various condiments in the store; syrup, bbq sauce and hot sauce. Stacked up on a wall lined up ready to taste were the condiments. 

I saw the hot sauce selection and decided to approach (bad idea). I thought "I love spicy food, this should be fun". As I approach the sauces I see next to them their are tortilla chips (which I later found out had been a fluke. they usually have small crackers instead of tortilla chips).

So the tasting setup had the hot sauce bottle, a saucer with the sauce on it and a small teaspoon to spread on the chip. Me being the 'lover of spice' I decide to try ghost pepper. Having little to no prior knowledge of this pepper (or without reading the hot sauce scale that the store had hung next to the sauces which I later discovered when it was TOO LATE) I decided it would be a god idea to add a whopping 5 drops of this hot sauce onto the chip (VERY BAD IDEA).

I proceed to put the chip in my mouth with the excessive amount of GHOST PEPPER SAUCE on it. Immediately after inserting it into my mouth I turned to my mother and told her it was even hot.

A MILLISECOND LATER MY MOUTH WAS ON FIRE.

This is TRULY the most horrific yet exhilarating experience I've had with food. As I said I before I love spicy food so in a weird way i did enjoy the hot sensation of the pepper but since I put such an excessive amount I was not prepared for what was next.

After the initial sensation of fire that was traveling down my esophagus, I started to feel the effects of the pepper. After consuming the chip and all it's contents of the hot sauce, my throat and mouth were DRY.

Furthermore, as I tried to ease the pain of the scorching feeling in my throat I took large inhales. Everytime air passed through my throat, it felt like someone had taken a grater to it and was grating at my throat every time I inhaled air.

SIMULTANEOUSLY, as I am trying to somehow regain some moisture back into my throat and mouth by taking large gulps of air, I begin to feel my face become hot and tears start to stream down my face.

These tears were not caused by the fact that the moisture had been sucked from my esophagus or that it felt like my throat was being grated to bits every time I took a breath. 

THESE TEARS WERE INVOLUNTARY. 

This was truly an out-of-body experience for me. Anytime that I have ever cried, it was triggered by something and backed up by an emotion. These tears came out on their own with no warning. This was truly a cry for help from my body. 

Recap: My face is hot, there are tears streaming down my face and it hurts when I breathe.

At this point I am trying to find something to drink or anything that will soothe my throat. Then miraculously the man from the shop says to try the farmer's cheese, he said "it will negate the heat from the sauce".

I probably looked like a mad woman trying to look for this cheese (mind you this is a cheese and meat shop there were alot of cheese everywhere). After a few seconds I find the cheese, take two toothpicks and get as many cubes of cheese that I can and stuff them in my mouth like it I the first time I've seen food in weeks. 

At this point I realize two things: I can't taste this farmer's cheese and that the cheese does NOTHING.

So at the moment I am trying to leave the store because breathing still hurts and it feels like I can't get enough air in my lungs. Every breath scratches at the back of my throat and I keep having to wipe away tears.

As I am trying to leave the store my mother ask me what cheese I tried earlier and if I could show her where it is so she can try it.

MIND YOU MY THROAT HURT AND I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE.

So I ignore my mother's comment and tell her we have to leave and find me water because I cannot breathe (and you can only imagine how much it hurt to say this to her).

THEN SHE WAS FIGHTING ME & STILL ASKING ABOUT THE CHEESE!!!

So with nothing left to do I object and tell my mother that we NEED to leave. my throat is on fire. Then I grab her wrist and drag her out of the store and walk/run over to the building next door which is a cafe.

I see a line forming (it was noon so most people in the 'village' were getting lunch) and leave my mother at the door and run to the cashier and beg her for a cup of water, slightly cutting infront of someone who was about to order. I must have looked as terrified as I felt me because she looked into my eyes and gave me a cup right away.

I run to the soda machine to find an older man taking FOREVER to choose a drink. I couldn't wait any longer so I sort of shoved him, filled my cup to the top with ice and poured in the water.

I CHUGGED ON THAT WATER SO FAST THAT I ALMOST CHOKED ON A PIECE OF ICE.

Once that cold water touched my lips I knew things would be alright. I drank two more cups of cold ice water after that and then sat down. The ice water was soothing to my throat. I eventually regained moisture in my mouth about 2 minutes after drinking 3 cups of water.

Despite what people say the iced water helped to soothe the burning but I did not regain taste until 5 minutes of having the water.

And that was my story of eating ghost pepper hot sauce.

Live ~Laugh~Love 

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